Hello and deepest regards to you.

This site is opened in honor of my beloved parents (Betty and Shel), who I was privileged to be able to care for during their final days on earth.

It is my sincere hope that my insights and experiences will be joined with your own to create a network of aid and support for all daughters who are facing this difficult ordeal.

And so we begin by acknowledging that “The Daughter Track” is basically a life-role path of changing from a worldly position of authority, productivity and visibility to that of being a “caretaker” in an arena from your past that demands that you conform to the needs of others on their timeframe, minimizing almost all of your own wishes, except the main and most important one, which is that you can help those you love in the most profound and effective way possible.

Caretakers can all be proficient at what they do, but what sets a really great caregiver apart is the true-caring nature they have and show toward their patient(s) – the idea being to make the patient feel good. This becomes inordinately hard to do if you don't feel good yourself. Whereby, Here's a list of “suggestions” for you as you travel this journey:

  1. Simplify and streamline everything you can.
  2. Be clean and neat and comfortable.
  3. Turn on your sense of humor – full blast
  4. Just be willing to be flexible – adjust gracefully to new situations – rigidity cracks.
  5. Ask for help – from your God and from every source at hand.
  6. Keep your strength up by eating and sleeping often and well.
  7. Stay in touch with others – do not lose contact with positive people in your life. You will need all "the positive" you can get.
  8. Remind yourself often that you are serving those you love in a beautiful way and making a positive difference in their lives and in your own.
  9. Take time–outs for you, breathe deeply and often.
  10. Put yourself in their place.

Also, get a “filler-time” project –at-hand for yourself. There are many quiet times for a caretaker and often a good book, knitting, drawing, sewing-doing something personal and productive for yourself is renewing and of help. It's nice to collect photos and souvenirs, write poetry, do something reflective of your lives together. When I tended my mom, who had colon cancer, I reviewed and saved her recipes and today, six years later, I am publishing a small book of her favorite dishes for family and friends.

 

Know that this time in your life will end and that it will open you to new ideas and new directions. Clearly, what you are now undertaking is meant as a great teaching episode for your life. It's supposed to change you – it will change you, so remember to keep yourself in the picture and to reflect on yourself every day and more often as you can. This is your life in process… Be strong, be confident, you are meant to do this, you can do this and you are not alone …